Trolley Boys
August 11th 2006 07:45
Alongside Ants, Trolley Boys would have to be one of my most despised enemies. 90% of them are social-retards, and the other 10% are just plain fuckwits. They sit around the back dock of shopping centres, dribbling and leering, looking for reasons to hassle me out whenever I have to go out there to put rubbish in the bins. If I try to borrow a trolley they stop me and go off at me, if I bring a trolley back to them they demand I take it to one of the shops (doing their job for them), and if I try to do that some other trolley spastic will take it off me and tell me off for ‘stealing’ their trolley. They’re ugly, lazy, lacking in social-skills, lazy, rude, riddled with inferiority complexes, lazy, and smell. Below you will note an accurate and scientific scale drawing of a trolley boy, please note the labels, clockwise from top.
1. Eyes-a-goggle - trolley boys lack the sufficient brainpower to control their eyes.
2. Thinning hair – even at a young age, the trolley boy will lack a full head of hair due to generations of inbreeding.
3. Sweaty – despite laziness, the trolley boy is quite sweaty, which gives them an unpleasant appearance and smell. This could serve a similar purpose to that of the Skunk’s stink-spray.
4. Half-eaten bakery product – the trolley boy has no qualms about pulling stale bread from the bins, bin-food is actually a staple of their diet.
5. Lack of opposable digits – clear proof that the trolley boy is subhuman and not as evolved as the rest of us.
6. Bumbag – See point 5.
7. Sores – due to living in squalor and their own lazy sweat, many trolley boys will build up an impressive repertoire of sores and diseases.
8. Velcro strap shoes – Trolley boys are unable to negotiate shoelaces.
9. 2-Litre Coke bottle – The trolley boy is unable to survive on water and other lesser fluids, he must consume over 2 litres of flat tepid coke each day in order to keep in ‘shape’.
10. Abnormally-shaped gut – Most likely the result of severe inbreeding.
11. Protruding lower-lip – allows saliva to dribble unfettered.
1. Eyes-a-goggle - trolley boys lack the sufficient brainpower to control their eyes.
2. Thinning hair – even at a young age, the trolley boy will lack a full head of hair due to generations of inbreeding.
3. Sweaty – despite laziness, the trolley boy is quite sweaty, which gives them an unpleasant appearance and smell. This could serve a similar purpose to that of the Skunk’s stink-spray.
4. Half-eaten bakery product – the trolley boy has no qualms about pulling stale bread from the bins, bin-food is actually a staple of their diet.
5. Lack of opposable digits – clear proof that the trolley boy is subhuman and not as evolved as the rest of us.
7. Sores – due to living in squalor and their own lazy sweat, many trolley boys will build up an impressive repertoire of sores and diseases.
8. Velcro strap shoes – Trolley boys are unable to negotiate shoelaces.
9. 2-Litre Coke bottle – The trolley boy is unable to survive on water and other lesser fluids, he must consume over 2 litres of flat tepid coke each day in order to keep in ‘shape’.
10. Abnormally-shaped gut – Most likely the result of severe inbreeding.
11. Protruding lower-lip – allows saliva to dribble unfettered.
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Comment by Anonymous
Comment by Luke
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Comment by MOT
I do apologise. Its Just was an Inaccurate Report.
Comment by Luke
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Comment by Anonymous
hmm seems like a personel view there, nothing much scientific about it
Comment by Greg T
i am from canberra and i must say the trolley boys down at the belconnen mall are wonderfull people.
they will always find you a trolley if there are non at the shop.
just the other day i was down there and they were working so hard. and for what $8 an hour
i think you will find its probably about 80% to 20%
80% of the customers are absolute dicks and no one takes the time out to notice that these boys work hard but are looked on as the garbage of scociety. the other 20% is the trolley boys, only few of them here in canberra are wankers but they are no where near as bad as what you described
maybee you should take a look at yourself and wonder weather its them or you
Comment by Sleepy_bmw
Comment by Luke
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thanks for posting guys.
I apologise for my own personal views, but the actual diagram itself and the points of reference come courtesy of an in-depth scientific study. You can't argue with science!
Comment by far que
but i have had some good expeariances with trolley boys here in adelaide
Comment by oxie
you may not be able to argue with science but we have proved science wrong, i look nothing like that. and i appologize both other anonymous comments were me. one thing true about those points though, I LOVE MY COKE
Comment by Luke
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Comment by Anonymous
and i think im better off than some toher people i work for $8.32 and hour
i own 10 houses all woth no morgidge and the rent off them could kepp me livin but i need more money to support my life of luxury
i never did well in school but i still have a lot of money i own 3 cars a V8 SS comodoore VE modle i own a wrx wich i have doen up to the extrem and i own a Holden WM Caprice
i also own a jetski a seadoo XP
i own a house on the canals were i am sitting write now
i dont own a boat tho hmm... i should get one soon
and at the moment i am buyin a plan a Piper PA-38 Tomahawk
i also am planng my wedding for spring 2009 its costing us so far $20 000
i also own a fleet of courier vans and truckes
i have been a trolly boy scince year 10 i was 15 im now 27
Comment by i agree