Telemarketers - how I loathe thee and how I outsmart thee
April 9th 2007 04:41
Telemarketers. We all freakin' hate them, right? The only people who don't hate them are those who actually are them. And even that aint definite.
In my house, my home phone is in another room to my bedroom. If I am in my bedroom, writing a blog or something, and I hear the phone ring, I have to rush and run to it in the hope that I will get there before it rings four times. If it rings four times, it will go to messagebank... and, as around 50 percent of the population is incapable of leaving a message (what gives?), this means I will miss the call altogether.
Anyway, I was sitting in my room, working on some writing, when I hear the phone ring. So I run, and I trip on something, hurting both my toes and my ankle. It hurts, okay? Anyway, I manage to reach the phone just in time. I think to myself, 'this better be good!' Anyway, there seems to be no one on the phone, it's just silence and I'm standing there angrily shouting 'Hello! Hello!' (You make me run for this?) Eventually the call connects and I get the standard Indian-accented fellow looking to give me some new mobile phone deal.
"Hello, is this Mrs. Bartolo?"
"There's no one here by that name".
"I'm sorry, this is the residence of Mrs. Bartolo?"
"Look, a Bartolo lives here, you have the right number, but there's no Mrs".
"Oh, I'm sorry, you are Mr. Bartolo?"
"Yes"
"Sir, today I am calling you to let you know that in three days you will be receiving a new mobile phone..."
(ooooh, this makes me angry, my toes throb in anger! A telemarketer! On a Saturday!)
"How did you get this phone number?"
A moment of silence. "I got it out of the white pages"
"No you didn't, this is a silent number. How did you get this number?"
The phone clicks off into silence. It comes back again, "Sir, if you want me to take your number off our list I can..."
"No, this is a silent number, how did you get it?"
Silence. The phone clicks. He's gone.
And yes, I do have a silent number. I never chose for it to be silent, it just came like that when I moved into the house. I didn't think of it until I stood there on the phone while this chump peddled his scam to me, and he got scared when I mentioned it. Well, maybe not scared, but he definitely sounded worried - and he hung up, not me. That's gotta be some kind of first, right? Telemarketers almost never hang up on anyone, it's usually the other way round.
Anyway, this begs the question, how do these guys get our numbers if it isn't out of the White Pages? How do they get silent numbers? Who sells them these numbers? Our phone companies? Telstra? Optus? The electricity board? Someone is, and it stinks to high heaven.
In my house, my home phone is in another room to my bedroom. If I am in my bedroom, writing a blog or something, and I hear the phone ring, I have to rush and run to it in the hope that I will get there before it rings four times. If it rings four times, it will go to messagebank... and, as around 50 percent of the population is incapable of leaving a message (what gives?), this means I will miss the call altogether.
Anyway, I was sitting in my room, working on some writing, when I hear the phone ring. So I run, and I trip on something, hurting both my toes and my ankle. It hurts, okay? Anyway, I manage to reach the phone just in time. I think to myself, 'this better be good!' Anyway, there seems to be no one on the phone, it's just silence and I'm standing there angrily shouting 'Hello! Hello!' (You make me run for this?) Eventually the call connects and I get the standard Indian-accented fellow looking to give me some new mobile phone deal.
"Hello, is this Mrs. Bartolo?"
"There's no one here by that name".
"I'm sorry, this is the residence of Mrs. Bartolo?"
"Look, a Bartolo lives here, you have the right number, but there's no Mrs".
"Oh, I'm sorry, you are Mr. Bartolo?"
"Yes"
"Sir, today I am calling you to let you know that in three days you will be receiving a new mobile phone..."
(ooooh, this makes me angry, my toes throb in anger! A telemarketer! On a Saturday!)
"How did you get this phone number?"
A moment of silence. "I got it out of the white pages"
"No you didn't, this is a silent number. How did you get this number?"
The phone clicks off into silence. It comes back again, "Sir, if you want me to take your number off our list I can..."
Silence. The phone clicks. He's gone.
And yes, I do have a silent number. I never chose for it to be silent, it just came like that when I moved into the house. I didn't think of it until I stood there on the phone while this chump peddled his scam to me, and he got scared when I mentioned it. Well, maybe not scared, but he definitely sounded worried - and he hung up, not me. That's gotta be some kind of first, right? Telemarketers almost never hang up on anyone, it's usually the other way round.
Anyway, this begs the question, how do these guys get our numbers if it isn't out of the White Pages? How do they get silent numbers? Who sells them these numbers? Our phone companies? Telstra? Optus? The electricity board? Someone is, and it stinks to high heaven.
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Comment by Damo
For the Sake of Argument
My Apologetics
Comment by Ahmed
techy.Bytes
Video Gamer Kids
Little Green Foosballs
PolyKicks
Qwerk
Cinema Three
Once I didn't bother showing for the interviewa nd the other time, well I got as far as the second day of training, then the tight arses decided I was no good for being 20 minutes late, oh yeah, but on the day of training they kept me waiting for a good hour all up, that and the 'training' really blew.
Gah, what a stressfully annoying job, for everyone, but it pays really good. Damn them for their money!
Comment by StephenP
NRL News
Try these responses - they always go down well in our house!
1. Ask them what they are wearing (you have to have a devo voice to pull this off effectively) !
2. Tell them your really stoned right now, and you are really paranoid - ask them if they are sure they aren't the cops (repeatedly)!
3. For a quick getaway, tell them that you have just broken into the house, and that you have just heard a siren and you gotta get out of there !
4. Our personal favourite, but pretty immature - when they ask for the homeowner, say "that I will just get them for you", and then leave the phone in a sapre room unattended for the next 30 minutes!
Yeah, we get bored sometimes, but it's a good way to have fun!!
Cheers,
StephenP
Comment by JoshZ
A Simple Christian
When they ask how he is he tells them he is glad they called because his best friend has died and he needs someone to talk to.
They hang up.
JZ
Comment by Ahmed
techy.Bytes
Video Gamer Kids
Little Green Foosballs
PolyKicks
Qwerk
Cinema Three
Kind of nice, wasn't it?
Comment by Wendi
Comment by Nina
TV Babble
However, the fact that they knew your name probably means that something else is up.
I worked as a market research telephone interviewer once (not selling anything, just conducting surveys). I lasted two weeks before I quit. The level of abuse wasn't much fun to cop, but the thing was that much of the time I found myself agreeing with them.
Comment by Heretic
Those lists get collected by the site owners eventually, and your number is quite a penny-maker.
Comment by Luke
Book Club
Old Movies
Cane Toad Warrior