Proof that God is retarded

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Cane Toad Warrior - January 2007

Proof that God is retarded

January 15th 2007 12:48

And on the 7th day, God created this thing, but he decided not to tell anyone because he was embarrassed.

Above you will see a newly discovered amphibious creature that defies current classifications, perhaps more so than any other creature discovered in the last 100 years. It doesn’t have a proper name yet, just some latin bullshit some dude wanked out to satisfy his nerdish ego.

Anyway, just look at this fucking thing. It looks like some sort of degenerate cross between a frog and a chicken, look at it’s fucking beaky mouth and stumpy front limbs, what a fucking spastic thing. If there is such a thing as a creator then this is certainly the proof that he or she is clearly fucked in the head… JUST LOOK AT IT! It’s a freak, I can just imagine it rolling back and forth on it’s stomach and blowing bubbles, like some sort of mentally-deficient lard baby.

If we look to the laws of evolution as science currently understands them, then this is clearly a new species destined for a short and uneventful future. Evolution must’ve squeezed this one out of it’s arse after a hard night on the piss, then left it to flop about vainly in it’s attempt to exist. No doubt it will disappear as quickly and suddenly as it was found, it’s offspring unable to procreate because the opposite sex is just as ugly and useless looking as themselves. I name this creature a Trolleylump, in honour of that other ugly and useless creature, the Trolley Boy. Hail Trolleylump, king of shit animals.

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Posted By: Luke - Category: Amazing True Stories

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24 Comments. [ Add A Comment ]

Comment by Ahmed

January 15th 2007 17:21

techy.Bytes
Video Gamer Kids
Little Green Foosballs
PolyKicks
Qwerk
Cinema Three

All creatures are beautiful in their own disgusting ways, just look at us humans for a clue

Comment by Damo

January 15th 2007 20:16

For the Sake of Argument
My Apologetics

Maybe he just as a warped sense of humour

Comment by JohnDoe

January 15th 2007 22:29

Film & TV on DVD

This must be the new platypus.......or maybe a genetically engineered KFC chicken that has escaped the compound....

Comment by Luke

January 15th 2007 22:36

Book Club
Old Movies
Cane Toad Warrior

haha... I was a little hesistant about this post, I thought I might cop a bit of shit over it. Glad to see everyone doesn't take everything so seriously.

Comment by Cibbuano

January 16th 2007 03:34

20/20 Filmsight
Science News
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Fat Cult
Techbreak

I love it when scientists discover new animals...

Comment by David my David

January 16th 2007 04:01

Luke,

I'll give this post my votes ...

Why?

God distributes His blessings on the good and the wicked alike without distinction ..

sine differentia ... - from the Preface of the Most Holy Trinity ... Canon Missae ... Triidentum Rite ... Quo Primam - encyclical of Sancte Pie quindecima ... in perpetuity ... ad infinitum ... in saecula saeculorum ...

Yep. No dictionary words allowed. But Blashpemy? ... tolerated ... *** Gotta love the net ... More NET PORN!

David ...

Comment by Francis

January 16th 2007 04:19

Passionate Apathy

Can Gods get high? Could God create a bit of blotter acid so powerful that even He could never come down?

Recently on South Park the school ordered Mrs. Garrison to teach evolution, which he dismissed to teh class as saying that we're all "a bunch of retarded fish-frogs." That was the first thing I thought when I saw that thing.

Comment by DuskDevi

January 16th 2007 04:53

Rucks and Rolls
Rugby World Cup 2007

Hmmm...a cross between a frog and a chicken...

It's a fricken!!
...a chog?

It's kinda cute....well, it's not that ugly....reminds me of that creature in 'The Fifth Element'...Gary Oldman's character's pet...

I think I need to get my I sight checked.
I can't see the u g l y line well.

Comment by DuskDevi

January 16th 2007 04:54

Rucks and Rolls
Rugby World Cup 2007

Comment by Lily

January 16th 2007 04:57

Ars Poetica

god has a sense of humour,
look at yer bottom..
easier to look at someone elses, but ...

~Lily

Comment by KylieW

January 16th 2007 06:05

Celebrity Obsession

I thought it looked more like a cross between a frog and a fish....but now I see the chicken as well.

If I believed in God, I would definitely think that he got high, then got the munchies and chucked a fish, frog and a chicken in a blender, got distracted by shiny shit and the resulting animal hopped away to be what we see before us.

A 'Frishicken' perhaps?

Comment by Lilla

January 16th 2007 06:37

Enviro Warrior
An Extra Ordinary Life
Dream Herald

Hey Luke,

Is this the girl or the boy ?

my next question is, if it has evolved, what has it evolved from ... and what to next?

I'd love to know the latin name they gave it and on which continent they found it. I'd like to learn more about it? Looks like mutant chemical farm and stormwater-seepage-type evolution to me.*lol*

Cheers,
interesting post,
Lilla

Comment by Luke

January 16th 2007 08:17

Book Club
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The fancy name (not really latin) is Nasikabatrachus sahyadrensis

It was found in India.
Look up it's latin name on google and you'll get a bunch of pictures.

It was actually discovered in 2003 (which is when I wrote the above article)

It evolved from a branch of amphibians that lived on the lost continent that India, the Seychelles and Madasgascar were once all a part of. As a result, it's closest living relatives are found in far away Madagascar, and the resemblance between them is minimal, meaning that this species might be up to 100 million years old, making it a living fossil.

Comment by Lilla

January 16th 2007 08:32

Enviro Warrior
An Extra Ordinary Life
Dream Herald

Thanks Luke, I'm off to do some reading...

Comment by Joe Blogg

January 16th 2007 09:36

Joe Blogg's Blog
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A cross between a frog & a chicken.
Let's call it a DeGaull.
And quite frankly it looks every bit the pretentious little shit.

Comment by Miss Faith

January 16th 2007 14:51

The Truth about non-Christian Religions
Who Pee'd in My Cauldron?

This umm, "unique" creature is just one of many reason I think God must be retarded....not my God, just Christians. Hahahaha. Just Kidding.

Poor little guy...even ugly animals need love and acceptance. I loved your blog on this though. I can just see some geeky scientists sitting around speaking Latin in order to try to name it. Maybe you're on to something with Trolleylump...you should do a formal submission and get paid big bucks!

Comment by Ahmed

January 16th 2007 14:53

techy.Bytes
Video Gamer Kids
Little Green Foosballs
PolyKicks
Qwerk
Cinema Three

Why is it everyone thinks this thing is retarded? Yeah sure, it looks retarded but it is an animal, and it serves a purpouse in life, heck, it probably has done more good than most people ever will.

Comment by Nina

January 16th 2007 23:39

Great work, Luke. It certainly is a strange little creature. Then again, other creatures are odd looking but we're just used to them. Not to mention the creepy things that dwell in the depths of the ocean.

Comment by Hellvis

January 17th 2007 13:17

Earache Hotel

This thing reminds me of those snapping turtles they (whoever they are? Can't remember, but I think I saw it on the news one day or maybe dreamed it, both sources being equally valid) discovered in a sewer. They had nasty beaks, looked eternally pissed off, and were built like armoured tanks.

At least those things could fuck you up. This thing looks like god watches Pokemon. Maybe it has special powers.

Comment by Anonymous

September 30th 2007 18:27

You are right. And if you want to win any argument about the existence of god, you should check out this lady's 60 second proof that god can't exist anyway. Tell her what you think. To me its a slam dunk. Check it out at

godgone.com

Comment by christiandude777

July 23rd 2008 23:33

Excuse me, but I saw the picture above and I tottaly disagree with the writing at the bottom of the picture and the one on google images and God is not retarted. I'm suprised he hasn't zapped you with lightning yet.

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