Dear Coles
November 3rd 2006 10:12
Dear Coles
I thought I’d send you some free market research.
Your Hawaiian-styled bread rolls (subs) are shit. Not only are they stale and inferior, they are also overpriced. I bought one from Burwood a few days ago and it was one of the most terrible bread rolls of it’s kind that I have eaten in quite some time… it actually made me feel sick for about three hours afterwards. Funnily enough, the last time I’d had such a bad experience with a ham, cheese and pineapple roll was when I bought one from a Coles in Penrith about eight months earlier.
Just thought I’d let you know how bad this product is that you are selling and that it made me feel very queasy afterwards and maybe you should do something before someone else eats one and gets food poisoning or vomits or something like that.
Not impressed, Luke Bartolo.
Coles responded with a letter asking me to ring their 'Poisons and Illnesses' department, or something similarly named. I rang them and got a woman who gushed (in a transparently fake manner) about worrying about me being sick. As it was a week after I sent them the letter I told her she need not worry, I was only sick on the day. She then asked cautiously if I still had my receipt or the remains of the roll (!) I told her I wasn't in the habit of keeping receipts from items of such a lowly nature and she then seemed to relax and her tone of concern disappeared completely.
"Well, we can't give you a refund if you don't have a receipt"
"I don't want a refund, I just wanted to let you guys know how substandard you are"
"Oh"
"See ya"
And then I hung up.
I thought I’d send you some free market research.
Your Hawaiian-styled bread rolls (subs) are shit. Not only are they stale and inferior, they are also overpriced. I bought one from Burwood a few days ago and it was one of the most terrible bread rolls of it’s kind that I have eaten in quite some time… it actually made me feel sick for about three hours afterwards. Funnily enough, the last time I’d had such a bad experience with a ham, cheese and pineapple roll was when I bought one from a Coles in Penrith about eight months earlier.
Just thought I’d let you know how bad this product is that you are selling and that it made me feel very queasy afterwards and maybe you should do something before someone else eats one and gets food poisoning or vomits or something like that.
Not impressed, Luke Bartolo.
Coles responded with a letter asking me to ring their 'Poisons and Illnesses' department, or something similarly named. I rang them and got a woman who gushed (in a transparently fake manner) about worrying about me being sick. As it was a week after I sent them the letter I told her she need not worry, I was only sick on the day. She then asked cautiously if I still had my receipt or the remains of the roll (!) I told her I wasn't in the habit of keeping receipts from items of such a lowly nature and she then seemed to relax and her tone of concern disappeared completely.
"Well, we can't give you a refund if you don't have a receipt"
"I don't want a refund, I just wanted to let you guys know how substandard you are"
"Oh"
"See ya"
And then I hung up.
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