Food
September 19th 2006 13:19
This is a rant my brother Jonno had for me... he dictated it to me and I bashed it into some kind of readable order.
What shits me is Maccas now. You know the ad that Maccas have now, ‘oh, serving you and making your day’ or whatever bullshit – ‘how much work is it for a judge’ or ‘how long does it take for a judge to earn enough money for a quarter pounder meal’ or some shit and he’s got his fucking little wooden stick thing going ‘order, order’ or a hairstylist and he’s got his hairdryer going for about two seconds or a plumber going ‘oh…’ and he’s looking at a pipe… BULLSHIT. Hairdressers earn fuck all! Plumbers don’t earn that much and they say ‘oo, we’re giving you now a small fillet o fish meal, was $5.60 but you get it now for $4.95”
How’s 65 fucking cents gonna help me? It’s bullshit. The most you’re gonna save is $1.60 for a big mac meal or some shit, what about when it used to cost ya 5 bucks for a large one? It’s wrong! It’s plastic shit, and you’re hungry about an hour later after you just fucking ate it. You have to have two of them just so you’re not hungry. I eat at the Take-Away shop up the road sometimes – for $5 I get a decent-sized roll with ham, cheese and BBQ sauce on it – I eat that and I’ll be fucking right for the rest of the day. Now, I get a nine-pack of nuggets, fries and a coke, and I’m fucking hungry half an hour later.
Now, G’rilla dogs. They’ve got the shit chilli ones back but… $3.50 - how’s this for breakfast, here ya go - $3.50 gets ya a g’rilla dog and 600 ml coke. Maccas just can’t compete with that can they? When I was 18, when I was a shitkicker, I’d have a proper breakfast, real food for breakfast, then I’d have a g’rilla dog around ten-ish or so for me smoko or whatever, and for lunch I’d end up getting another two and that’d keep me going for the rest of the day. I wouldn’t have one on the way home though, that’s just crazy – I’m not that rich!
They stopped having the squeezy cheese in the Quix for a while… oh, that shitted me. But now they’ve brought it back. It’s cause they used to leave it out and it’d go all congealed and shit and I think people were getting sick and that from it, they took it away cause it’s bad for ya. Now they put it in the fridge. What shits me is these fucking lazy shop assistant guys who go ‘Oh’ and they palm it off cause it’s ‘bad for you’ just so they don’t have to go and refill it, cause they’re lazy and it’s too much trouble, they’re too busy jerkin’ off to pornos behind the counter and pressing buttons instead of actually going out and doing some work and they whinge ‘Ah, we get held up with guns!’ It’s not your money, who gives a fuck – give it to them! Y’know? Whinging cunts.
Jonno - a bit upset
What shits me is Maccas now. You know the ad that Maccas have now, ‘oh, serving you and making your day’ or whatever bullshit – ‘how much work is it for a judge’ or ‘how long does it take for a judge to earn enough money for a quarter pounder meal’ or some shit and he’s got his fucking little wooden stick thing going ‘order, order’ or a hairstylist and he’s got his hairdryer going for about two seconds or a plumber going ‘oh…’ and he’s looking at a pipe… BULLSHIT. Hairdressers earn fuck all! Plumbers don’t earn that much and they say ‘oo, we’re giving you now a small fillet o fish meal, was $5.60 but you get it now for $4.95”
How’s 65 fucking cents gonna help me? It’s bullshit. The most you’re gonna save is $1.60 for a big mac meal or some shit, what about when it used to cost ya 5 bucks for a large one? It’s wrong! It’s plastic shit, and you’re hungry about an hour later after you just fucking ate it. You have to have two of them just so you’re not hungry. I eat at the Take-Away shop up the road sometimes – for $5 I get a decent-sized roll with ham, cheese and BBQ sauce on it – I eat that and I’ll be fucking right for the rest of the day. Now, I get a nine-pack of nuggets, fries and a coke, and I’m fucking hungry half an hour later.
Now, G’rilla dogs. They’ve got the shit chilli ones back but… $3.50 - how’s this for breakfast, here ya go - $3.50 gets ya a g’rilla dog and 600 ml coke. Maccas just can’t compete with that can they? When I was 18, when I was a shitkicker, I’d have a proper breakfast, real food for breakfast, then I’d have a g’rilla dog around ten-ish or so for me smoko or whatever, and for lunch I’d end up getting another two and that’d keep me going for the rest of the day. I wouldn’t have one on the way home though, that’s just crazy – I’m not that rich!
They stopped having the squeezy cheese in the Quix for a while… oh, that shitted me. But now they’ve brought it back. It’s cause they used to leave it out and it’d go all congealed and shit and I think people were getting sick and that from it, they took it away cause it’s bad for ya. Now they put it in the fridge. What shits me is these fucking lazy shop assistant guys who go ‘Oh’ and they palm it off cause it’s ‘bad for you’ just so they don’t have to go and refill it, cause they’re lazy and it’s too much trouble, they’re too busy jerkin’ off to pornos behind the counter and pressing buttons instead of actually going out and doing some work and they whinge ‘Ah, we get held up with guns!’ It’s not your money, who gives a fuck – give it to them! Y’know? Whinging cunts.
Jon as Jonotello, the fifth ninja turtle.
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