One Disgusting Facet of Life
February 27th 2007 04:25
High on my list of unnecessary acts is the grunting sound made by some middle-aged men when they take a piss at the urinal. Do we need to make this sound? Does anyone enjoy hearing it? Is there a hidden fetish-sect of piss-grunt lovers out there? Or people who gain satisfaction from said-grunting? And if it is a gratification is it one so coveted that it must be done in a public place - overriding dignity, common decency, taste and several other factors that separate us from the apes?
When you let forth your piss and allow a loud and unsavoury grunt to escape your lips you are either signposting your lack of control over bodily-functions or announcing the act of urination in a highly irrelevant manner.
While we’re at it, why don’t I shout out an “ohhhhh yeahhhhhh” as I take a shit in a stall? Better yet, if I’m so intent on drawing attention to my defecation, why do I even bother to close the cubicle door?
See that guy leaning back over the bowl of the toilet as you enter the room? The one with his eyes shut and legs open, proudly contorting his muscles and moaning inappropriately as he resoundingly plops one turd after another into the water below? That’s me, joining the human race in all it’s degeneracy.
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