And the Clock Strikes One! : Drunk
October 31st 2006 08:59
Okay. I’m sure many of you have been here before. You’re at home. Some mates are ‘round, and you’ve been guzzling rounds of beer. It gets past 10 pm. All the nearest bottle-los are now closed, and no one is in a state to drive at this point anyway. You keep drinking, blissfully unaware that you are about exhaust your supply. And then it happens. You go to the fridge to pull out the next round and you come to the shocking realisation that there is no beer left. NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!
Desperation sets in. The following is a list of what NOT to do…
1. Do not make concoctions out of things that are plainly not meant to go together; eg. Bourbon and Water. Milk and Whisky. Orange Juice and Butterscotch Schnapps. The first tentative sip will be accompanied with a ‘ay, that’s not too bad actually’, but no matter how much you try to convince yourself and your mates, you will later pay the price for this by either chucking or tasting said beverage for all the next day.
2. Do not grab that lone beer that has been sitting in the fridge for the best part of two years. It is either; a crap and obscure variety along the lines of ‘Sheaf Shout’ (which tastes like a cross between tar and molasses) or a leftover party beer that someone has found in the sun the next day and then put in the fridge to try and trick someone into drinking it. No good can come from this.
3. Do not attempt to procure some take-away from the nearest pub. If it’s past midnight there is no chance of this, no matter how much you plead, beg or threaten, the bar staff are not going to give in.
5. Do not attempt to raid the neighbour’s supply. Think about it. You’re drunk, they’re not. You will wake them, and they will smack you upside the head with a bar of iron.
I’m sure there are many other dangers to be met when on the crawl for alcohol, but these five come to mind most readily. All I can say is, be prepared, have stocks of proper mixers for spirits, or grow some balls and drink them straight, or make sure you have more than one case of beer between three or four people!
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Comment by Johal
What REAL drinker has a beer more than a month old left over in the fridge?
Comment by Luke
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