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Cane Toad Warrior - November 2006

An Amazing True Story

November 10th 2006 11:18
So I was walking along in the Plaza and it’s heaps busy and there are kids everywhere. I mean everywhere. Wandering around, milling about, hanging out of fat guy’s arses, everywhere. So, myself being in a bit of a hurry, I had to tell one particular 7 year old girl to “get the fuck out of my way”. Obviously, her mum was kind of upset. She got all red in the face and grabbed me by the shoulder and screamed, “How dare you say that to a child!” So, doubly obviously, I punched her in the face and laughed. Security came along and shook my hand. They’re thinking about giving me an award. I’ll probably accept it.



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Posted By: Luke - Category: Amazing True Stories
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28 Comments. [ Add A Comment ]

Comment by Keira

November 11th 2006 14:00


Keira's Blog
The 7year olds mum was obviously 16 and the security guard must have been the father - glad that the mum had been knocked out and might forget that he had to pay maintenence for that month.

I say turn down the award unless it is a massive gold statue erected in your honour of the moment when you smacked the girl in the face.

Comment by Luke

November 12th 2006 09:03


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I hate Christmas shopping so much Keira!

Comment by Keira

November 12th 2006 09:06


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I hate it coz I have no money. and I always spend too much. and it sucks my birthday being so close to chrissie coz i always use the moeny people gave me to buy other peoples chrissie presents.

Member you have to buy a christmas tree this year. There is a place for it next to the (blocked up) chimney and everything! You could even have stockings! or big footballer socks...

Comment by Luke

November 12th 2006 09:17


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We got a Christmas Tree yesterday actually! It goes up in a couple of weeks.

Comment by Keira

November 12th 2006 09:20


Keira's Blog
how big is it and have you gotten decorations? did you want any money put in for it? We were gonna grab one the other day but the shop only advertised them in the window... they weren't actually in the shop for some reason...

Comment by Luke

November 12th 2006 09:23


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nah no money needed, it only cost $20 but it's pretty big and decent. Nicole already has the decorations for it.

Comment by Keira

November 12th 2006 09:26


Keira's Blog
well then.... I still think you should kame decorations out of beer ralated paraphanelia.

the caps could be smooshed into stars and all sorts....

Comment by Luke

November 12th 2006 09:29


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I wanted to put Doc Ock on the top but I don't think Nicole will let me.

Comment by Keira

November 12th 2006 09:35


Keira's Blog
Nicole needs to chill... I think maybe the Hoff... or the Teddy. Hang him from the roof so he hovers just above the tree. and put wings on it or something, pass it off as an angel.
hehehe
If you say I did it you might get away with it

Comment by Luke

November 12th 2006 09:41


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Nah. She'll be there when the tree gets put up so there won't be any getting away with anything hahaha.

Comment by Keira

November 12th 2006 09:44


Keira's Blog
Damn... well maybe I can convince her.. its gonna look all out of place if its all fancy...

When you gonna put it all up? I think we should have a house christmas tree putting up ceremony! just another reason to have a party.

Comment by Luke

November 12th 2006 09:45


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dunno, not until December.

Comment by Keira

November 12th 2006 09:50


Keira's Blog
gosh! first weekend or something? thats when we have always put it up, so i just assume everyone else does the same... which im always wrong.

are you going to put lights up out the front and a wreath on the door? get right into the festive spirit? could nick one of those cone - hollow trees that they usually put up and down high street and tie it to the tree out the front and use it to disguise the letterbox?

Comment by Luke

November 12th 2006 09:53


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hahaha
I'm superstitous - we weren't allowed to have the tree up before December 1. I'm not sure how festive I'll be getting... this is the first time in about 6 years that I've had a christmas tree.

Comment by Keira

November 12th 2006 09:56


Keira's Blog
yeah its hard to get in the festive spirit when the stores make it festive from mid-october til January... the spirit wears thin... then straight off in the new year, bang easter crap on the shelves!

6 years deprevation... I have a mini tree out at my place, about a foot high comes with decorations already!

Comment by Luke

November 12th 2006 09:58


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this one is about my height I think... it was on special at Big W, down from fifty bucks.

score!

I'm doing a special Christmas edition of Cane Toad Warrior soon.

Comment by Keira

November 12th 2006 10:05


Keira's Blog
Will it fulfill all my christmas needs and wants?

My sister got groped by the Santa at the plaza when we had a christmas photo taken with him. Squeezed her arse. what kind of Santa's are about these days?

What are some of the articles gonna be in the Warrior?

Comment by Luke

November 12th 2006 10:17


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I have some old ones I'm gonna re-release, plus some new stuff... a comic about how Santa Claus was created. Mitchy's 'True Story of X-Mas' (featuring a guest appearance from the heavy metal band Pantera), a special Christmas message from Charles Bronson... the usual stuff.

Comment by Keira

November 12th 2006 10:20


Keira's Blog
is it finished yet? or can I write something witty to put in it?

I may even draw a picture...

*ponders*

Comment by Luke

November 12th 2006 10:21


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nah it's nowhere near finished, I haven't even started it yet hahahaha. All submissions welcome!

Comment by Keira

November 12th 2006 10:26


Keira's Blog
Hogfather, the book by Terry Pratchett about chirstmas has been made into a movie.. or possibly a two part telemovie... I so wanna see it. Screens in England sometime soon and Terry Pratchett has a cameo as the toymaker...

You need to read more Pratchett so you can be cool like me and Desh and say things like "I'll go Librarian Poo on you in a minute!"

Comment by Luke

November 12th 2006 10:28


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I know! But there is so much to read. I have so many books on my shelf to read. If I ever see cheap Terry Pratchett I'll get it, but it's hard to come across in 2nd hand stores. I'm hoping to score some when I go back up to Brissy in a couple of weeks... there's a mad 2nd hand store up there I got a bunch of mad stuff from last time I was there.


Comment by Keira

November 12th 2006 10:35


Keira's Blog
well, if you just buy me all hard cover or Unseen Library editions of the books, you can have mine for a small fee. Generous aren't I?

Terry never seems to turn up in 2nd Hand stores... you can get bulk lots on ebay for cheap though.. like 20 s/c books for $30 including p&h.

I just made that price up but you know what I mean... cheap-ish.

Comment by Luke

November 12th 2006 10:39


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no, no, I'm gonna quote you on that price and expect you to back it up when the time is right, okay?

yeah this particular bookshop had a lot of stuff you don't normally see in 2nd hand stores though, and it's prices weren't stupidly high like most 2nd hand stores.


Comment by Keira

November 12th 2006 10:49


Keira's Blog
Theres a creepy 2nd Hand bookstore off the High street, where the inside is bigger than it looks from outside and books are everywhere.. yet the man behind the counter knows exactly what is there and where it is... i think that he could possibly be part of an alien race of bookeepers...

For your info, 20 Prattchet books, $49.60, plus p&h from England... so i was wrong...

Comment by Luke

November 12th 2006 10:50


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Yeah I used to go in that store all the time but now I don't cause I'm too afraid I'll die. The dude in there smokes constantly and the place stinks.

Tell Nicole about those Pratchett books and she can get them for me for christmas hahahah.

Comment by Keira

November 12th 2006 10:57


Keira's Blog
Hahaha! Does she have her credit card now? I havent had a chance to talk to Nicole for ages - now that she has her licence I see her even less at your place! But then again, we aren't there often...

How many weeks til Christmas? not enough Im sure.. need to earn money so I can spend it on people. I hate the shopping bit and actually deciding what to get people... Nicole and Matts 21st were annoying coz I wanted to get something good and had issues and yes. Shops should sell things specifically labelled for people. Like - "A present for your friends 21st, that is meaningful, but not soppy coz you hate that, but not too stupid coz then they only use it/ laugh at it for 5 minutes".

Comment by Luke

November 12th 2006 11:07


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haha

only 6 weeks to go till Christmas

I'm gonna wrap all presents individually and sit them under the tree, it's gonna be rad.

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